you would pick up someone in the library
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
