I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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