i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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