Your face is a jimmy john
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
