The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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