Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
