I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
