omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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