i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize