Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
