Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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