yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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