I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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