What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
