i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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