I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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