I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
