Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
