its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
