can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
