I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
