Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
this just has baby written all over it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
ttyl tear gas
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
