I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize