I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
