Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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