with your own penis?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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