But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
