I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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