Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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