you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
