This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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