NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
