She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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