I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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