There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish you could order shots online.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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