apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
