Ambien. No doubt about it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
