I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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