Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just invented taco cereal.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
