I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
