i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
