I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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