I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
