ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
