I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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