Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize