Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
