so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
