How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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