3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize