Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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