I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
