and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize