Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
