I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
