you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
