God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
