Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize