tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
