He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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