Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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