I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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