You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
