You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
