So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
