Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
