We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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