He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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